Vicky Kennedy (she/her/hers): How this Gen Xer embraced adding pronouns

I was having a conversation with an acquaintance about the uptick in seeing personal pronouns on social media. My acquaintance was hesitant to add theirs, which led to an interesting dialogue. I then realized that I had added mine at work recently upon seeing an encouraging post to do so, but I never explained why or opened the door for conversation. I’d like to do that now.

I’m a member of the LGBTQ+ community and I identify as a lesbian. Until very recent times I had never considered my gender identity (just assumed female), but I do present as non-binary and tend to feel more androgynous than anything else. I wear women’s jeans and men’s shirts. I wear makeup and jewelry with a short haircut. I’m misgendered fairly regularly. It used to bother me, but no longer does. I think this is because I’m not attached to any gender anymore — call me sir, call me ma’am (wait, don’t ever call me ma’am, on second thought), I’m okay with either. To be honest, if I really consider it, I don’t completely feel like “she/her.” But I also don’t quite identify with the other common options, so that’s the one I default to.

In the past when I saw anything about adding or stating pronouns, I used to roll my eyes (to myself). I thought, “this is such a gen Z thing,” “it’s a fad,” “it’s unnecessary,” and “I don’t get the point.” More recently, however, upon seeing more and more emphasis on pronouns, I took a minute to challenge my own assumptions. I decided instead to educate myself further on the topic.

I read articles and experiences that opened my eyes to this issue. I realized that adding my pronouns was not for me or about me. It was instead about demonstrating inclusivity and acceptance. I realized it should not be left only to those that have a need to state their pronouns, whether non-binary or transgender, but that I could show support simply by adding she/her to my name. Additionally, it may make it easier or less embarrassing for someone who may not know how to address me. (Just because I’m not bothered by being misgendered doesn’t mean it wouldn’t embarrass someone doing the misgendering.)

The pronoun field is becoming as common as title (Mr., Ms., Miss) and suffix (Jr., III). It’s on most job applications and social platforms. I no longer feel annoyed by the request to add or state my pronouns but instead welcome the opportunity to take a small action toward diversity and inclusion.

If you’re interested in learning more, I personally found these articles helpful:

WSJ: Why gender pronouns are becoming a big deal at work

NYT: Do I really need to state my pronouns?

Forbes: Should you put pronouns in email signatures and social media bios?

As always, I encourage discussion at any time. You can always find me on LinkedIn!

~Vicky Kennedy (she/her)